Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Had a meet-up with some of my uni course friends in Orchard today, which is really really really rare.
For 2 and a half years or less for some friends, we have never ever met up out of school before. I really do appreciate them for somewhat pulling me through these uni years, as I believe that they have made a difference to my life (uni life in particular). Sincerity, friendliness, help and plain kindness are just some of the words which I can use to describe them. =)
Later, off to pass christmas present to my Godpa. Hope he finds it useful. =)
Had dinner with the "now defunct Youth Council" peeps. There's going to be a lot a lot of changes in the St Ignatius Youth Scene and we've all agreed that 'Youth Council' is really a misnomer! The whole structure of the group is really changing with the new youth coordinator, John Lum, taking charge. His plan is overwhelming, absolutely overwhelming, but i'm positive and feeling excited for the ones who are still staying on.
Well, to tell you honestly, my leaving due to the exchange trip has sort of been a sort of a sigh or relief to me. I have been feeling that I haven't had enough contributions to the church and that my presence would not make a difference to YC at all. There are people who are extremely capable and skillful, although younger than me-the twins. Super intelligent people, just finished 'A' levels and one has been accepted into some elite US uni, while the other is gunning for medicine school in UK. I always compare myself to them and feel inferior, because they are truly truly smart.
Then there is this Hwa Chong guy- Ah Poon, currently in 2nd year NUS lit, first class honours individual, scholar under NIE. Even more intellectual than the twins and talks cheem cheem. I always admire him for how smart he is (he is really the smartest smartest guy I've met!). I am a small small fry compared to him.
Then there's also miss Saint-Pammie, super saintly and nice and has a great personality. RJC alumni, double degree 2nd year student in NUS. Amazingly spiritual! Love her to bits! Has much more to give than I do.
I've been struggling with the fact that I can't, although I very much want to, contibute because I simply am not smart enough, not spiritual enough, not capable enough. YC doesn't need me because they have the above people (and more).
Took a car ride from John home and it sort of changed my thinking and mindset that I have had for the past 1, 2 years or so. Some bits and pieces which I remember John saying:
"let me tell you, you are much more grounded in faith than you think you really are."
"I was so close to telling them to be a junior facil but I didn't because I know it would really upset them."
"The younger ones looks up to you and I can really see that."
"I need people who can share, not just people who can say a lot but don't mean what they can say."
"Although we've only had 5 minutes of conversation, I can tell that you are someone who can share from your heart, because within this car ride, you have told me your true reason for leaving although I am almost like a stranger to you. You can get people to trust you because you can share from your heart."
"If that's your reason for leaving, then you are probably leaving for the wrong reasons. There is going to be massive projects in the coming year and you are going to have a place for you. You are going to grow through this."
There's so much more he said. I guess I've never met anyone who could look so deep into me although he's only known me for such a short period of time. I will seriously have to relook whether I am going to leave. For now, let me just focus on what's ahead of me....
- Some things I didn't know about me
by snoopy_lim @ 11:18 PM